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I once heard that when a movie claims it is based on true events, perhaps only 1% of the movie is true like perhaps the overall concept.  So that was what I expected from Compliance that it would take a real incident and twist it into something perverse and distorted.  The true event was perverse and distorted enough that a realistic portrayal of events was disturbing enough to last for a few days after viewing the film.

Compliance sure gives the viewer something to think about.  All during the movie, I was thinking that would never happen to me, I am certainly sophisticated enough to not be deceived by a prank caller pretending to be a cop.  Even if I was initially deceived, when it came to the strip search I would have said enough.  I would have called the station on another phone to see what was going on.  I would have questioned the scenario.  But maybe I shouldn’t be so hoity-toity, just because I wouldn’t be fooled in that specific type of scenario doesn’t mean I could never be fooled.

Haven’t we all complied to authority or peer-pressure, even when it goes against our good judgement or morality?  Hasn’t a boss asked us to something even as minor as working late when we had other family/friend commitments?  Some of us have had bosses who demanded we behave unethically by lying to customers or cutting corners etc.  So, you know, just because we think we have the good sense to stop something cruel and twisted, do we really — or have we never been confronted with the situation?

Good movie.  Very believable characters.  Must see preferably with someone you can discuss the whole thing over while having coffee, cake and a little ice cream.

Aye-yi-yi.

One of these days I’m going to make a list of movies that will cure insomnia, and Margin Call will be on the top of the list.  Talk about a nothing movie that was absolutely pointless.  Wow, it was kind of like watching a film of yourself at work.  How exciting is that?

Slow paced, boring, Margin Call may not be the worst movie I’ve ever seen, but tops the list for most boring.  No characterization, no plot, lifeless dialogue.  Watching it was   kind of like actually being at the job.  There were no characters to care about, they were all one dimensional, no surprises.  The so-called crisis that was going to crash the business and then the whole economy just didn’t make sense.  The movie was boring enough, they should have went ahead and fully explained the tedious details of how the company went wrong.  It was like we know what happens the economy crashes so let it crash already.

Nevertheless, Margin Call could become a natural cure for insomnia, instead of a sleeping pill try and stay awake through this film.

 

Was Bad Teacher a bad movie?  Yeah, kind of, but it was a lot of fun and not terribly heart-warming.  Thank God.  For some reason, I wanted to see the film really bad, I think the previews made the movie seem like something I would like.  And, you know, it was predictable and fun, and enjoyable, but not great, but I didn’t have great expectations for a movie like Bad Teacher.

Ted was better than Bad Teacher. Ted was funnier, less predictable and Mila Kunis got to portray somebody really pretty, normal, and sweet instead of pretty and conceited like she played in That 70′s Show, or pretty and seductive as she played in Black Swan or pretty ugly like her character is portrayed in Family Guy.

But the movie I liked best was Tower Heist with Ben Stiller, who did not disappoint. Yeah, heists are always good since I want to pull one off someday.  I’m waiting until I’m 80 so that if I get caught and have to go to prison for the rest of my life I won’t have to be there very long.  What’s more at 80 I can act all senile and stuff, who would suspect an 80 year old woman pulling off a heist?  Nobody, right?  There you go.  Besides if I got caught,  prison would serve as the old age home and Medicare rolled into one.

If perchance I didn’t get caught, being the honest person I am, would have to give it back.  Can you imagine the embarrassment of the institution that was heisted by a half-senile old woman? Oh well, 80 is a long way off, so in the meantime I’ll just keep watching movies.

The problem with the movie Abduction was the premise didn’t make sense.  The only unpredictable element of the film was it turned out to be a thriller.  For some stupid reason, like maybe I didn’t read the synopsis, I thought the film was going to take a serious look at the issue of an adopted teenager learning that he had actually been kidnapped as a child.

Nope.  This movie was some kind of spy thriller, that didn’t have too many spies, and very few thrills.  The main character boy was a child of spies and his mother got killed when he was quite young.  The father had his colleague spies adopt the boy and raise him to keep him safe. So when the boy turned into a teenager, he happened upon a phoney abduction website put there by the bad guys to find the kid.  Why?  Because there was an encoded list that the boy’s father acquired and if the bad guys get the boy, then they can use him for leverage to get the list. Except, the list was only acquired two days earlier, yet the adoptive spies were hiding him for 16 years for this very purpose.  Come on.

The movie had the usual twists and turns you expect in a thriller.  Ho-hum.  That the was problem all the twists and turns were the same ol’, same ol’.  A good thriller keeps you gripped and guessing, Abduction did none of that.

Maybe Adam Sandler should consider retiring when he has two huge losers like Jack and Jill — possibly the worst movie ever made — and That’s My Boy vying for second worse.  Bad, bad, bad.  So bad, I didn’t bother watching to the bitter end.  And I’ve suffered all the way through the some bad, bad movies.

Granted, Sandler movies are not intellectual heavy weights, noted for their nuance and deeper meanings.  Sandler is good at delivering heart-felt fun, a combination of gross toilet humor with a sweet message to learn and grow from.  That’s it. 

If I described the plots of Jack and Jill and That’s My Boy, they would sound like typical Sandler…and yet the only thing both films delivered were yawns.   Seriously, I fell asleep during Jack and Jill only to wake up disappointed that the movie wasn’t yet over.  Even Al Pacino — Al Pacino! — couldn’t breathe life into the movie.  Jack and Jill was like a celebrity cameo and product placement parade.  The only bright spot was a 20 second bit with Johnny Depp.  Sandler needs to play off other actors.  Casting himself to play his twin sister was a mistake.  A big mistake…because see he couldn’t play off himself because he was playing himself.

The only redeeming feature about That’s My Boy is that the film didn’t put me to sleep. Confession,  I fast forwarded during some of the boring parts.  Adam Sandler needs to do more movies like 50 First Dates, that movie has the best ending in the world.  I have seen that flick a 100 times and it never gets old.  Well, kind of old, cuz I’m starting to learn all the lines.  At any rate, if you’re in the mood for an Adam Sandler movie you better stick to his earlier stuff, because I think his day in the sun is over.

One word:  No!  Blah!  Ick!  Two thumbs down.

Okay that was more than one word.  Talk about stupid movies, Nicholas Cage, can do better than Drive Angry. I kept making insults to my fiance about how pointless the movie was and how it was no wonder Nicholas Cage went bankrupt and how this movie didn’t help his cause — I was coming up with some really mean stuff.

My boyfriend didn’t say anything, he’s just sitting there like a couch potato watching the gratuitous violence and meaningless plot.  Then something wonderful happened,  mid-way through the streaming stopped and we didn’t have to watch the movie to the bitter end.  I applauded and we watched something else.

You know what happened?  My fiance waited until I went to bed and stayed up to re-stream and watch the rest of the movie.  What an idiot.  He’s working on his doctorate, and yet he actually liked this movie.  It turns out Nicholas Cage was let out of hell to save his grandchild and he selected an unmarried, waitress, bimbo, white-trash to raise the kid.  Yeah, that’s who I’d want to raise my child.  He chose her because she was a babe.

Here’s the other aggravating thing, about my supposedly smart and educated boyfriend, he didn’t like the movie Larry Crowne, a slice of life about a middle-aged man going back to school — which is something my fiance should be able to identify with.

 

Season #23 of Grey’s Anatomy started in September of 2012.  Oh excuse me, it is only Season 9, it just feels like the show has been going on for over two decades.  Here’s the Grey’s Anatomy shocker — don’t worry, no spoilers — the season is actually starting out pretty good.

Okay, here’s some spoilers.

Mark Sloan dies.  Yes!  He was my least favorite character and the writers killed him off.  Good call. What’s more the nice lesbian couple has a real issue to work on instead of who takes care of the kid and we’re really hot for each other.

They are starting to explore April’s religiousity which is in conflict to her hormones and attraction to that other guy, Avery,  who unfortunately is still on the show.  The writers should have killed him off instead of that cute Lexie Grey.  Best of all,  my favorite character — Sandra Oh, with the really cool last name — has an interesting storyline that goes beyond her marriage to the red-headed guy.

So this could be a good season for Greys if they start forming plots that aren’t so much about hooking-up, F*#!ing, and having a relationship.  Blah!  The other thing Grey’s needs to do is stop trying to shock viewers with really strange diseases and freak accidents.  Instead work on character development and other problems outside of romance and work.

Question:

What two things do the two movies Dark Shadows and 21 Jump Street have in common?

Answer:

Both were taken from old TV shows and Johnny Depp was in both.

From that point on, these movies are totally different.  One is good, and one is bad.  21 Jump Street is trite and predictable and fortunately that cute Johnny Depp only plays a cameo role and is promptly killed.  He probably made killing the character as part of the contract so he would never have to appear in 21 Jump Street under any circumstance again.

Dark Shadows — okay wait — three things in common.  Dark Shadows is also predictable, but redeems itself by being hilariously funny.  Johnny Depp plays a vampire, but not a scary one, who was buried alive in the 1700′s to be unburied and returns to the 1960′s hippie era.  So the movie was a period piece within a period piece, cool huh.  The catch is that Johnny Depp has been in time capsule of sorts, i.e. his coffin, and his reaction to modernity which is old-fashioned to us viewers, was laugh out-loud funny.  Really.

I was watching Dark Shadows on a trans-Atlantic flight on one of those teeny screens behind the seat in front of me.  Usually, when I travel the person who sits next to me is pretty nice and we chat.  It’s always fun meeting fellow travelers and finding out where they’re from and where they’re going and blah, blah, blah.  Well, this last flight, I’m sitting next to a cold fish.  I tried to start a conversation and she basically snubbed me.

What’s more, I’m in the aisle seat, and she just holds it in until I get up to go to the bathroom and then uses it too.  I always want the aisle seat so I don’t have to crawl over people to use the toilet, and certainly understand when people have to crawl over me to go.  But anyway, the person next to me was not the friendly sort and didn’t like it when I laughed out loud at the laugh out-loud funny Dark Shadows; but I didn’t care, she needed to lighten up.  Finally, at the end of the flight, she started talking and was actually very nice, but it took her long enough:  9 hours and 18 minutes to be exact.

She watched the stupid movie Brave, it’s a children’s film and not funny at all; but she did find it amusing.  So here goes:

Skip 21 Jump Street unless you love Johnny Depp and want to see him die.

Watch Brave only if you have children and are desperate for a movie.

Yes on Dark Shadows — only for the humor…and Johnny Depp…because he is adorable.

Unbelievable.  The 9th season of Grey’s Anatomy premiers September 27th.  Will this series never end?  Besides everything, here’s what I don’t like about the show:

1.  Dr. Derek McDreamy Shepherd is not dreamy, he’s a wuss and I don’t see what Meredith sees in him.

2.  I don’t believe Meredith really cares about being a surgeon or a mother.

3.  The romance between Arizona and Callie is boring and their story adds nothing to the show.

4.  Kepner and Avery have no purpose, their roles could disappear and no one would notice.

5.  The sibling rivalry between Meridith Grey and her sister Lexie Grey could be riveting — but no — the story focuses on Lexie’s failed romances which no on really cares about apparently not even Lexie.

6.  Mark Sloan just looks like a pervert, and he gives me the creeps.  Eric Dane would probably do well to find his true calling and play the role of a psychopath.

7.  Bailey is an interesting character but she is sidelined to a sub-plot of soporific romances.  Yawn.

8.  For a show that is pure nonsense, it offers zero comedic relief and takes itself far too seriously.

9.  The patients in the series aren’t people to care about, they’re props for the show to drive home a point for the theme of the episode, to manipulate the plot, or to shock the viewer with some kind of weird disease — like a human growing into a tree — and/or some kind of bizarre accident creating a emergency room freak show.

10.  Just seeing the name Shonda Rhimes makes me want to pull my hair out.

What is so aggravating, is I have to watch every single episode of Grey’s without fail or else.  Why, God, why?  Grey’s is nothing but a prime-time soap opera and has no depth.  Romance is spooned out between patients who are either surgically torn apart and saved so the doctors can be heroes, or die so the doctors can be all depressed and sad — except in the case of my favorite character, Sandra Oh, who has to be tough and stoic.

Those of you who agree with me, please join me in this prayer:  Please, God, please let this be the last season of Grey’s Anatomy so I don’t have to watch it anymore.  Amen

The Dictator was much better than Bruno, and on par with Borat.  Borat was probably the better film because of the originality, but…

What do you call a man holding a baked potato between his legs?

A dictator.  Get it.  A dick/tater.

Stupid joke, and the movie The Dictator was also full of stupid jokes with a stupid premise and a predictable plot and yet…it was funny.  I liked it.  What’s more I saw it in Israel and have learned something important.  Israeli’s and American’s find different things funny.

For instance, no one in the audience — except for me and my fiance — thought it was funny when the dictator of a fictional country enemy of Israel, claimed its nuclear program was for peaceful purposes only and not for the destruction of Israel (snicker, giggle, snicker).  Maybe that joke hit a little too close to home.

Perhaps the Israeli audience didn’t understand most of the jokes which required intimate knowledge with Americana.

Americans who want a fun movie, or want a light-hearted date movie this is it.  Those of you in the 51st state, unless you’ve visited some of the other 50, save your money.

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